Did you read Susan G. blog about having a special connection is a must with your dog. I really disagree with her. Not that I have any of the qualifications on dog training that she does. But I don't think you need to have a special connection when you first meet your dog. When I was looking for Miley , she wasn't the dog I wanted. I was looking at the litter and I wanted a male dog. I like male dogs. I don't know why, I just do. And I really wanted the bi-black boy out of the litter. I went out to spend a couple of days with the breeder to choose the right puppy. The bi-black and bi-blue boys were just so cute, I really wanted one of them. But I couldn't ignore what Miley was showing me. She ran everywhere. When I took each puppy outside, she was the only one to still played with toys. I still didn't know what to do. I wanted a boy. The bi-black boy was so smart and calm. But, I was sitting on the floor in the kitchen and Miley was playing. Running through the kitchen , jumping over my legs, running down, hit the busa board, round the kitchen, under the chairs and back jumping over my legs again. I couldn't ignore that. She was screaming , "pick me, pick me". So I did. And I love her. She has just now starting lying down next to me on the couch. She doesn't like to be loved on. She wants to play all the time. Isn't that why I got her? Why I choose her? Yea it bothered me for while that she didn't want to be loved on. I use to think she didn't like me,but its just her. Besides I have 2 Chihuahua's that sit on you constantly and want to be loved all the time.
Lets look at this another way. When you have a baby and the delivery didn't go to well. I cant say its love at first sight. I'm going to be blunt so you may want to stop reading. When you had forceps up your wazoo and they pulled a baby out that didn't want to come out. You have ripped to your rectum. Its not love at first sight. All I could think of was, "If someone asks me to breast feed that baby, my head is going to spin around and green pea soup is going to come flying out of my mouth". Yea I can look back now and laugh. But I wasn't a happy camper at the time. But did I love my baby . Of course. Did I feel a special connection. Uh, not at that time. But, you take care of them, love them and they love you back. Every day the love grows.
One more thing. What about people who adopt a baby. Can you imagine the adoption agency's faces if you said, "I'm sorry, I don't feel that special connection with this one. Can you bring out another?" Lol. You sometimes learn to love. Love grows.
So anyway, that what I think. Its ok not to feel a special connection. And things will still turn out great!
A Walktober summary
1 day ago
10 comments:
Katie wouldn't come to us when we went to the breeder to pick her up. She hid behind a chair, then ran over to the breeder to be picked up. I had to trick her into coming close enough to me so that I could pick her up. She didn't cuddle at all on her own for a long time. But I know she loves us, and we love her. Now she sometimes pushes her nose under my elbow to show that she wants a little love. But I don't know that it was love at first sight for her or for us.
Hi Diana,
I agree with Susan G and I agree with you! How confuse is that? When we went to see Titan, I didn't fell in love with him at all, like you, I want the other blue girl in that litter but she has already booked! We spent hours at the breeder's house and at the end I told Colin, I want to leave it, I just don't feel like I want any of the puppies but Colin said he loves Titan, so he has to come back! I tried to love him, I train him like I do to all my dogs but there is something missing, the LOVE, the BOND. He always choose somebody else than me, I am the last person he came to and I feel HURT! He is 4 years old now and that hurt feeling is still there as I am still the last person he would come to.
Lian
Bonds takes time. They develop.
Love at first sight is pretty much fiction.
Some people may feel like they "connected" immediately with their dog, but perhaps they just happened to smell like chicken that day.
I think there can be the special bond right away or it can develop over time - isn't it the same with people when they love each other? Sometimes it takes awhile to fall in love and sometimes it seems to happen immediately.
Mom fell in love with me instantly from a picture on the internet!
Since my mom is only my mom and doesn't have any kids, she could've lived her entire life without reading your birth story - LOL! But you did warn her!
I agree with both of you. I think that there has to be a bond- wether that comes with time, or at first sight.
Wicca is a dog that I loved instantly but she didn't feel the same way. She really had no use for me as a puppy. As she grew up our connection is much better, but it took a while.
Kate is a dog that I didn't love at first, and it was a huge challenge to train her. She has some major personality issues which didn't help, but I do think that the initial bonding (or lack of) was an issue for us for a long time. I love her now of course.
It's an interesting theory though.
and c'mon you loved that baby before he was born, and only didn't like him for a few hours. :o)
Diana,
I am so glad you said that; I was going to write something similar on my blog - now I don't have to because you said it perfectly. I love both my sheltie girls but I doubt I would have picked either of them. Breezy was a rescue, and I never intended to keep her, but she did grow on me. Hannah was a girl pup when I had my heart set on a boy. Neither one will cuddle with me except when they want something. You said it best - "love grows".
Diane
Blogger Sara said...
Bonds takes time. They develop.
Love at first sight is pretty much fiction.
Yep. Same way with me and Whisp. Not love at first site. I wanted a sheltie pup, she was available. Matt said yes, finally. If I kept the dog I wanted I wouldn't have an agility dog. But our bond is so great. It took a long time to develop as we figured each other out (and still do). Wouldn't trade that for love at first site. Same with Shast. I like her, haven't bonded, we have a way to go. It will happen.
Love at first sight/ instant connections they do exist.
I too agree with Susan and agree with you. I do think that it is a smart thing not to just take a dog because it is from a line you think you like, or because you just really want a dog now, or because that is the dog that is available and has been chosen for you if it is not what you wanted or if you do not feel at least some chemistry=maybe not a full fledged love but a dog you really like. I have had some fosters that I can really enjoy and like a whole lot and would do a lot for.. but I would have never considered keeping them even though I cared for them deeply, and I could have made it work, but they were not dogs that were what I wanted to work with for the long term and most of them have found homes where the people not only want to work with that type of dog but they love them for that, so it worked out best for all. If Lizzie had been a dog I had not fallen in love with-her and I would have been unhappy campers trying to make that work during some of our really trying times, but the minute I saw her I knew we were meant to be together, and the things that are hard about her are outweighed by some of the things I was looking for that she has, so I do not mind working with the aspects of her that are a pain, and Breeze I really love her but it was not the same connection and intense love to start out with, but I liked everything about her, just not as strong an intitial connection and that grew over time taking care of her and training her and getting to know her-I appreciated so many more things about her, but I did really like her even if it was not instant intense love ;-).
I think you need a connection but I certainly don't think it has to be instant. Zodiac was exactly the dog I was looking for-but if I had met him only once I would not have known it. He was our foster for several weeks before I knew. Legend was a dog I fell in love with on paper (or really-online!) But when I went to pick her up she was not at all intersted in me. It didn't take long for us to develop a bond but it sure wasn't instant! I was very bonded with Oreo from the beginning though-I picked him out at 3 days old and never looked back. He was always very much "my dog."
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