Sunday, January 6, 2013

Another way

So blogger wont let me upload my picture the usually way.  Im going into the HTML format loading them and then going into Compose and fixing everything. Ugh, what a pain. I have not idea why its doing that.

Yesterday it was freezing in the morning but I went to the park because Java has been unhappy about doing nothing for such a long period of time. 2 weeks I think. I got the the park and thought about going home because my fingers were hurting so bad from the cold but I finally got out the the field where the sun can hit you and warmed up a bit. Very frosty morning.


My dogs had a good time.


I like this picture. Crisp. All my pictures were taken with a 50mm lens. My long lens isnt fast enough if there isnt direct sunlight. all the pictures would be blurry.
Gotta have some ice.
I really like the color in the back of this one.
The chasing begins.
and
then
then
one more
I finally got out the the field yesterday. It took me a while to set a course. I found loads of problems with each dog. Java wasnt reading rear crosses and her weave poles arent doing well. I guess thats from not doing anything for 2 weeks. Miley, she has problems coming in close and kept taking the wrong tunnel entrance if it was the one closest to me, so we worked on that.

The next paragraph is depressing so you may want to skip it. I dont know what is wrong with me lately. Im just not feeling like I like my life. But there isnt anything wrong with it. My kids are healthy and doing well in school. Lou should graduate on time this Spring. The only sad thing is you realize how different your kid is when he is around other kids his age. (we went to Florida with my family so there was a 17yr, 4 -20 years old and a 22yr old). It kinda makes you feel bad that he just doesnt fit in and will probably never do all the things that normal adults do. I dont think he really cares about all that stuff so I guess I shouldnt worry about it.But still sad. My job is ok. This week has actully been nice. Ive only seen about 28 kids a day. Thats nothing. Before break I was seeing 50-70 kids a day , not including medications. So easy days. Money is tight but we are still ok. Ive been having a lot of fibromyalgia pain. Ive had to up my medication to help control the pain but it makes me so tired its hard to walk the dogs or do anything. I have an appointment with rheumatologist at the end of the month but I know what they are going to say. Same old, same old. I know Im not dying or anything but it just gets over whelming to be in pain every freaking day of my freaking life. My dogs are good. No one is injured . But Java is trying to take control. She has nailed Miley to the floor several times in the last month. If she thinks Miley is overly excited or she is jealous. She hasnt hurt Miley but I have to drag Java off of her and then she goes into her crate for a time out. I dont know why she all of a sudden is doing this. Otherwise they seem like good buddies. Maybe Java isnt getting enough exercise. The air conditioning in my car is broken. And I think we need a new roof. I hate winter. They said it was going to be sunny this afternoon. They lied. Sorry if this is depressing.

7 comments:

Sara said...

The photos are beautiful. Sorry that you are in so much pain, no wonder why you feel depressed.

Oreo and chewy have their little spats too. I think sometimes it looks worse than it really is.

corbinwooten said...

Diana, your photos are beautiful.

I just want to say that I'm sorry you are feeling so down. You definitely have a lot on your plate, and it's hard to relax and focus on the positive.

The only thing I can tell you is that I think it helps to take it one day at a time. Instead of counting all the goods and bads (because no matter what you think, the bads always seem to outweigh the goods), just take things as they come. Try to remember the good things when faced with something negative. Really savor the good, happy moments. Maybe even keep a little journal of moments that make you smile. Read it when you're feeling low.

Hang in there.

Catalina said...

Just wanted to say I like that first picture - it's like something from the Lord of the Rings.

I sympathize with you and the other parts of your post. Sometimes it's just nice to write everything out :)

Chris and Ricky said...

The photos are so beautiful - dogs love cold weather much more than people do! :)

Dawn said...

Love that first mountain photo..and your favorites too, especially the one with the background and the bitey face one. I can't imagine what it would be like to be in so much pain all the time. Just seems like there should be help for that somewhere. I'm a terrible sick person and whine all the time if I don't feel well, and I don't have anything like what you deal with every day. So I'm in your corner and sending you cyber strength as you work through all the stuff on your plate.

Amy / Layla the Malamute said...

I'm sorry you're feeling so down. First, about your son, don't worry much about it. I'm totally different around family members my own age than around my friends. I mean you don't talk about stuff you do (parties and what not) with people who could tell your parents. If that makes it any better lol.

I don't know what you're on for the fibromyalgia but its possible that the medication is also causing depressing thoughts. Maybe the doctor could switch to something else? A lot of patients at my pharmacy who have fibromyalgia also suffer from depressed thoughts due to the medication, not due to actual depression. I hope you feel better soon.

Priscilla Phang said...

Those pictures are so beautiful. The first one is awesome.

I'm so sorry that you're in pain. Lately, I feel all odds against me and I'm so upset all the time. I can't tell why; it just seems that everything goes wrong and I feel so helpless. May be it's my hormone changes thingy.

I hope you're feeling better now. I really love your pictures.