Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Nervous breakdown

This is what it looked like yesterday when I got out of work. It was suppose to be 68 and partly sunny. NOT! It was in the 40's and no sun.  Great.
Yesterday was a horrible day. It started at 3am with Java vomiting. It looks like she ate some sticks. So after cleaning that up I couldnt go back to sleep. Then Stephanie called crying at 5am saying she was really sick and hadnt slept all night. And why didnt I answer my phone last night?  I guess Im not getting mother of the year.  I told her next time call me back a few times so I know I  need to answer it. If Im sleeping, I wont answer the first time.  So I told her what to do  while trying to figure out what was going on with her. Then I get to work and its 60 degrees in  my office, the heats broken again. Its a new system put in this summer. What the heck??  Tons of kids coming to me at work. Lots of them just to get out of class. A parent being mean on the phone. Stephanie calling again, says she feels better and doenst need to go to the doctor.She calls back 2 hours later, crying again, she isnt feeling good. Ugh!  Feeling helpless because Im 3 hours away.  Trying to answer emails for my agility class. Im not sure Ill be teaching again. I like it because it was fun for me. But now, the fun is falling out of it and things are becoming to serious. Im only teaching because there isnt anyone else stepping up to do it, I know I dont have enough experience to do this and now Im feeling stressed.  One complaint Ive had is I dont give hand outs. Well I just dont have time or the money to do hand outs. Im sorry.  I was up front about it. In the first class I said I dont give hand outs and they need to take notes. I guess that didnt go over well.  I dont think people realize how much effort I put in these classes. Reading information , planning and reviewing. Ugh. 
Now up again at 4am because thats what time my husband gets up and so all the dogs get up. They want me to get up even though he is awake and could do what they need. I need more sleep.  So now Im irritable. And then this irritated me too.  Im on a list and they were talking about ETS. I put up a couple of links for Linda M. stuff that she has done. I guess the list thinks its a training problem. But all of us who follow anyone who has been trying to work through this issue, know how hard they worked on the dogs jumping issues. Its not a training issue  IMO. Its heart breaking to watch a beautiful talented dog struggle with this issue.  But then again I didnt believe in fibromyalgia until I got it.  The first two doctors who told me I had that I wrote off as  "stupid". By the 4th doctor, I had to believe it.  But Im sure lots of people dont believe in that either and I dont blame them. Sometimes until something happens to you,  its easy to write off. (Sorry if Ive offended anyone, these are just my opinions and I feel Im allowed to write what I want here as long as Im not saying offensive things about other people. )


Sara said...

Oh Diana. I hope you have a better day today.

Funny how they want handouts! Would they really read them? When I get a handout, I crumble it up, put it in my pocket and then find it again three months later! LOL.

Dawn said...

Sounds like you are overwhelmed by work, children, dogs, agility and everything all at once. Anyone would be, that's a lot of stuff. I hope today is better and that last night you got some sleep. One small step at a time, you can't fix the world all at once!

corbinwooten said...

I'm sorry Diana, sounds like you have a lot going on.

Can you take a mental health day? Even if you can't take a day off, can you plan to go out and do something fun either with your husband, or the dogs (or even both--ha!) Sometimes just stepping away from everything for a bit helps.

And I know how you feel about classes. Jonathan and I taught while we were at LCDA. I really enjoyed it, but it can be taxing at times, too. It really does take a lot of work--preparation, set up, thinking, etc...I'm sorry that people don't appreciate what you do.

And I can't believe there are still some people out there who don't believe in ETS. Have they read the new information from Linda? I thought it was really interesting. It's something that really scares me--it's definitely out there and I can only imagine how hard it is to see your dog struggle with it.

Hope that the rest of the day/week gets better!

Ricky the Sheltie said...

You are dealing with a lot of stuff all at the same time. Hope today goes better for you. Hang in there!

katie, Maizey and Magnus said...

No words of wisdom from me, just sympathy for your feeling overwhelmed and thanks for speaking out about ETS. It is sad to see dogs and handlers struggling to train through that and not being able to. It was nice of you to speak up in defense of them. Hope you feel better today!

Sherri said...

I've taken lots of obedience and agility classes, and I've never gotten handouts. Tell them to suck it up and take notes!

I hope you have a better day and get some restful sleep tonight.

Lian said...

Poor Diana, there are too much on your plate! You definitely need a day off of nothing at all, just chill and relax.

Lora said...

I've never expected hand outs in a class before either. It was the main reason I started my blog, a safe place for my notes from class, trial, seminar, home training, you name it.
And of course you get to write about whatever you want. It's your blog! You can even say offensive things about people if you want. It's a blog. Your personal blog. Like writing in a diary. Get it off your chest if you need to and just mark that entry private or something. It's therapeutic to get stuff off your chest like that.

(Been having issues getting blogspot to accept my OpenID as a Livejournal user lately, weird. Usually it would take two tries and then it would accept it, but now I try over and over and it never does.)

Kathy said...

wow, that sounds like a heck of a day, sounds like time for a nice hot bath with some good music,...maybe some chocolate, LOL What do you mean you do not have enough experience to do the class, heck you are making it possible for those guys to do agility and you are a KNOWLEDGEABLE agility person I feel for your daughter I have had the flu the past few days, boy must be hard to be three hours away.and Java!!! tell her her auntie Kathy from CA says DONT EAT STICKS-not a good idea. ((hugs))take care and hope things are alreay on a turn for the better ;-)

Amy / Layla the Malamute said...

Oh boy - what a day! :(

I've never, ever been to an agility class where handouts were given out. That's a ridiculous complaint. I think you'd be a good teacher though.

I agree with you. I don't believe ETS is a training issue.

Good luck with the rest of the week. I hope things calm down for you.

Cedarfield said...

Um, yeah. How much are they paying you? That's what I thought. Let them take notes.